Why do I bother?

I’m standing if front of a mirror, examining my reflection after getting ready to go out on a date this evening. A few dozen thoughts are running through my head as I evaluate what is in front of me: Do I look pretty enough, are my faults too much, do I show cleavage or not, and should I even bother? After all, this is most likely a complete waste of my time considering my last dating fiasco.  

I turn 27 this week. I’m fairly proud of where I am in life. I have a good, stable job that allows me to pay the bills, despite being a social worker. My career also holds some very promising opportunities in the future. I hold a B.A. in psychology with a concentration in counseling, and in May I will also hold my M.S.W. as well. I have a nice little home that, while not spacious or particularly special, possesses everything I need to live a relatively comfortable life. I lead a simply lifestyle with very few actual needs.  Furthermore, I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for. However, when you are a relatively cute, professional girl in your late twenties, if you are not at least in a committed relationship, you are viewed as being lacking. Every last one of my friends is currently married, has been in a committed relationship for several years, or they have recently been divorced. None of them quite understand the plight my demographic find themselves in. As a result, while journaling about some of my experiences last night, I decided to make my thoughts, opinions, and personal experiences on this matter public in hopes of educating those that have not been here on why sometimes, this quest doesn’t seem worth it, and I utter the phrase “I just give up.” I promise to be fully respectful to the gentlemen I have dated and will never use names unless given permission (or if they were just that terrible that it felt justified).

As for tonight’s adventure, I will fill you in later this week on the outcome, though it’s not looking good already. Not only is my heart not in it, my mind isn’t either. I’m still stuck on… let’s call him… Mr. Whirlwind.  I’ll tell that tale another time too. However, for now all that matters is that he is on my mind, and it seems unfair to let a nice guy buy me dinner tonight, when my mind is stuck on someone else. Yep, I should cancel. Besides, if I go out, I’m going to miss my shows. Once Upon a Time is on at 8, and the Walking Dead is on at 9. Hook doesn’t disappoint me, Hook understands.